I just want to be normal

Scripture of the Day:

Hebrew 13:5, 6

            Let your conversation be without covetousness: and be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, the Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

April 24, 2011

Yesterday was awful for me. It seemed like David was really testy and I felt like we were avoiding each other. Yes, me too. But when we went to bed, I lost it and had the gut-wrenching cry that I hadn't had yet over this! I did cry some on Thursday listening to music. I just want to be normal. I told him I wanted him but that I was afraid it would hurt. He said he wanted me but he was afraid he’d hurt me. It feels like I’ve got foreign bodies attached to my chest now that feeling is coming back…and I do with the expanders in there. I’m afraid I’ll feel the same way when I have the implants put in. I’m afraid I’ll never feel normal again.

This morning was much better. He’s taking time to hold me a minute and I’m taking time to get the hugs he’ll share with me. I love him so.

I got a phone call from one of my students and her mother. We talked about an hour. It was so nice that they cared enough to check in.

December 4, 2013

I have to say that those days got better and fewer along the way. Our hugs have improved because of this. We hold on to each other much longer than before. I have the implants in now and I have to say it feels better than expanders, but it doesn't feel like me. I'm always conscious of what is there, and they are not mine. But it is much easier to live with now after 2 1/2 years.

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know he loves you. 

Special Needs: Adoption Journey of an Older Couple this book is by my brother-in-law. It is getting great reviews. He and my sister have adopted 3 special needs children after their own had grown. If you are considering or know someone considering adoption, consider a special needs child. They need forever homes. too.

I also maintain a second blog. It is called Gammie's Corner. Here I try different projects and then tell you how well I did or didn't do. These are my activities to help keep me sane and occupied. Gammie's Corner