Choice of Implants

I said the path is too steep. Jesus said, “I will not let your feel slip.”

I said the road is dark. Jesus said, “I am your light”.

I said I don’t know the direction. Jesus said,” I am the way.”

I said I am weak and tired. Jesus said, “I will carry you.”

March 19, 2011

I realized that I didn't put anything in my journal about the decision I had to make about the implants that would be used. I've mentioned before that some of the hardest things for me to do at that time was make decisions. There just seemed to be so many of them to make. 

I had three ways I could go to choose from for my implants. First, I could have a tummy tuck and they would take the tissue and rebuild my breasts. If I remember correctly, this would have been a 12 hour procedure as they would have had to rebuild some blood vessels so as to have blood circulating as it should. They also would have had to break a couple of ribs to do it. I didn't choose this one. Even though the tummy tuck sounded great, the pain I imagined with broken ribs didn't sound good to me at the time. Between the surgery and the chemo, I'd had enough of pain.

The second choice was silicone implants and the third was saline implants. The surgery for these would only be an hour or so and the pain after would be so much less in my mind. I actually chose the saline implants. I'd read a lot of things about the silicone implants leaking and the problems it caused. That scared me. But in talking to Dr. Taylor, he convinced me that the silicone implants would be better. They are more natural to the touch and actual leakage is very rare. I don't know if the saline ones would not have been natural feeling or looking because I went with the silicone. They do look natural and they also feel natural. You can see that they are implants, however. There are indentions that just aren't natural. But I guess that's ok. It's not like they are out there for public display. Make no mistake. I am still greatful for my life and glad to be living it to the best of my ability. 

I'm coming up on my 3 year anniversary and I have to say they still don't feel like they are a part of me. They still feel like something that has been attached to my chest. I don't want to sound like I'm depressed about it and I'm not sure that I'm just not being stubborn about it. It may not have the same affect on you.

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with His healing touch. I know He loves you.