Scripture of the Day:
Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)
No
discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it
produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained
by it.
The following is an article about what not to say to a breast cacner survivor. There does not appear to be an author but I am including the link to the site where I found this. It also had other good information. I do know it said that this article first appeared on Health.com. I can't help but wonder if this could apply to all cancers.
I am happy to say that I did not hear any of these from anyone. I am however guilty of telling someone to get them both done. It was more like "this is why I had both done at the same time". I'd like I'm more qualified to say that than someone else. I know I'd do it the same way if I had to do it again.
What Not to Say to a Breast Cancer Survivor
During all the October activities planned to raise awareness about breast cancer, you should also be aware that it's a sensitive and highly personal subject for people who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, whether recently or in the past. There are nearly 3 million breast cancer survivors in America. And not one of them wants you to hear you say the following:
| "Has it come back? Is it somewhere else?" |
A year after her diagnosis, Maureen Hovey, a nurse in Orlando, wanted to talk about how she was putting her life back together—not about whether her cancer might return. "I was worried about my new normal and people were more concerned about 'is it back?'" Her advice on how to talk to cancer survivors? "Focus on the person as a whole, not on the disease."
| "You don't really need your breasts anymore." |
Hello? Did you just say that to a cancer survivor…out loud?! "I had a friend who when I was considering treatment options actually said, 'You're old. You don't need breasts anyways. It's not like you're in your 20s,'" recalls Anne Steele, who lives in Hermosa Beach, California. "When I jumped all over him, he realized what he had said."
Even though breasts are often compared to melons, there is no expiration date.
| "You must be so happy you're cured!" |
Most breast cancer survivors appreciate that friends and family want to celebrate when their treatment is over. "But it's not really over,'" says civil servant Dawn Bontempo, a DC-area survivor who turned her blogs about breast cancer into a book, Breast Cancer Mardi Gras: Surviving the Emotional Hurricane and Showing My Boobs to Strangers. "Your friends think 'You're done!' But you're not really done. You're not fully healed emotionally."
Telling anybody how they should feel is a no-no, says social worker Maureen Broderick, who runs Bontempo's breast cancer support group. "Survivors have all sorts of mixed feelings and worries at the end of their treatment, too," Broderick says. "Life is never going to be the same for cancer survivors, and they need time adjust."
| "I would get both breasts removed so I would never have to worry about getting cancer again." |
Actually, unless you are actually faced with the situation you have no idea what you would do, says Anne Steele. "Basically, anytime a person with breast cancer is talking, the other person should only listen and not give their opinion unless requested." In other words, keep your mouth shut.
| "If you need anything, let me know." |
Offers of vague help put the onus on the person with breast cancer to figure out how you can help, and that's just not very, well, helpful. "It's more beneficial to say, 'I'm here for you. I'd like to help out and drive you to one of your treatments/appointments. Or I'm here for you. I'd like to cook you dinner,'" says Anne Steele. "Be specific."
There are 2 more sites that talk about what to say to a breast cancer survivor.
The following article is one of the last things that Lisa Adams wrote before she lost her battle to breast cancer is in the following link. I was very moved by this article knowing that she is no longer here to share with us.
If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with His healing touch. I know He loves you.
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