Up coming Anniversaries

Scripture of the Day:

Jeremiah 30:17

I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord, because they, called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

February 23, 2012

My mood gets lower and lower the closer I get to anniversary dates. For the last week, I’ve cried all the way to school. I’ve managed to pull it together by the time school actually starts. But there are so many things that make me sad because I know bad things happen. The new is upsetting. My retirement may upset some students and that bothers me…or it may not and that bothers me.

I look at these young girls walking the halls with cleavage and I miss mine…my real cleavage (like I had any to begin with). I read postings from my classmates and miss my youth. I miss my children. They don’t really need me anymore.

I watched the movie Soul Surfer. That 13 year old child witnessed to so many to so many people because of the loss of her arm. What have I done lately? A Christian teacher tried to make me feel better and she did. I don’t know how God is using me and I really don’t need to know. All I really have to do is live in my faith and trust that I am helping someone because I contracted breast cancer. Maybe I dram of grandeur, that I want to know the profound difference I ‘ve made in someone’s life. Maybe after almost a year, I’m still trying to figure out why this happened to me. Am I being a role model for someone? If so, who? Please don’t let it be Emily, Jess Hailey or Mom or any of my sisters, nieces, sisters-in-law or mother-in-law or friends. That’s the scary part. What if this happens to someone very close to me? When I think like this, I imagine how helpless David feels about not being able to fix this for me.

The first major anniversary coming up is the biopsy on February 28^th, next Tuesday. I don’t know if I’ll make it through the day or not. Should I even try? I was looking at the calendar and the biggest anniversary in my mind falls on a Saturday. They told me I had breast cancer was March 3, 2011. I wont’ have to attempt to work that day. Maybe next year all this won’t be so frightening.

May 21, 2014

I remember those days. I was so afraid of so many things. Some of them I still am. I don't want any of my family members to become ill from any kind of horrible disease. I pray for continued health for everyone. The anniversary's aren't scary any more like they used to be. Now I can look back and see how far I've come. My faith has brought me here. I am and always will be a survivor. If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know He loves you.