October 12,2013

 

Scripture of the Day:

 1st Peter 2:24

Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the hill,

that we being dead to sins, should live by righteousness; by

whose stripes ye are healed.

 

March 3, 2011

 

At 10:00 AM, they called about the results of the biopsy and asked if I wanted to discuss them now. I was at school. I am a special education teacher. I said no, but I knew. I as so afraid. I happened to be on a free block and I looked fear in the Bible. The 2nd scripture I looked at said, "Fear not Abram, I am thy shield and they exceeding great reward." Genesis 15:1. It really helped me a lot to read this verse. I just sat there. I was so afraid. I couldn't stop shaking. I felt like I sat there for quite a while I looked up and realized, "God, it's only been 15 minutes sitting here. Time has all but stopped."

 

My assistant principle, whose wife has faced cancer more than once, came to do my yearly observation. We're friends and I tried to get him to put it off. He was great about it but said no. So my first lesson in "life goes on".

 

After school, I called and got the news. I have invasive ductal carcinoma stage one. She told me that I needed another mammogram, surgery and an MRI (Typing this now, I assume she gave me appointments to have this done and I didn't write it down.)

 

The first person that I talked to is my sister-in-law. We cried together. As I'm sure with other women, you can't help but wonder what kind of woman you're gonna be now. But she said to me that I was not defined by my breasts and it helped at the moment.

 

David got home about 3:30 or 4:00. I was standing at the kitchen window looking outside. It was drizzling and such a gloomy day. He took it pretty hard. Never in our wildest dreams did we envision the result of breast cancer. There is no history of it in my family.

 

After a while, I started calling everyone. I put my grown kids off until last. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. It came to such a shock to all of them.  Obviously, it upset all my children. It took me to midnight to get to talk to my daughter. She lives in Germany with her husband stationed there for the air force. One of my dear friends put God on notice that he was going to have to heal me. It took her and David all of about 10 minutes to make the leap to the other doctor from two years ago and her blatant misrepresentation of what she got. I called in sick for tomorrow. I just can't face my students. 

 

My added thoughts that are current  today. I know if you read that it's just stage one and you know what that is, at the time I didn't. Stages meant nothing to me on this day in my life. If you are just starting your journey, education will be a considerable asset to make good decisions and to feel emotionally a little better.