Another Lump!

Scripture of the Day

II Corinthians 1:3-5

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort where with we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ

January 6, 2012

It was easier to tell the kids this time about the 2^nd lump I have found. Bryan sounded ok. It’s hard to tell about Emily since all was done by text message. Evan sounded upset.

I sent everyone here at school a text message because I didn’t want to have to come in today and tell it over and over again and cry. I don’t know if I saved myself that problem or not. I’m on the verge of tears right now sitting alone at my desk.

I really hated telling Johnnie. Last time after I told her she found out about Lucky’s cancer a few days later. Same now only backwards, Lucky has some sort of rare illness that has him bedfast. He can’t do anything for himself. And now I’m sharing mine. I hope, Like Lucky, I’ll recover. I pray its scar tissue.

I run for life keeps going round and round in my head. It’s a song by Melissa Ethridge…and that phrase says it all. I am running for life.

This lump feels like a small ball bearing. Shame on me, I googled what a breast cancer tumor should feel like. That’s what they described. But it still may be benign. 

April 29, 2014

It's been 2 years and 3 months. I went yesterday for my 6 month check-up with my oncologist. The fear does not go away completely, especially when things like these doctor's appointments are on the horizon. What if they find something? I saw something on Facebook about being strong. The funny thing is that just earlier that day, I told the Lord that sometimes I just get tired of being strong and facing the fear. But all in all, I have no choice. I have to be strong. I know that I can do this again if they find something. But all things being said and done, of course, I don't want to have too.  

I think the most important thing you can do for yourself is keep thinking positive, even if it is very hard to do. I still can't listen to the sone  I Run For Life without crying. But it does lift me up as well. If you have something that does the for you, use it. USE IT. 

I did get a clean bill of health today. That's good, but I didn't realize that I would be seeing her every 6 months for 5 years. That was a surprise. The lump I found back then is still here. I still have it.

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with His healing touch. I know He loves you.'

Found another Lump

Scripture of the day:

1^st Peter 2:24

Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the hill, that we being dead to sins, should live by righteousness; by whose stripes ye are healed.

January 5, 2012

David and I celebrated 30 years of marriage on Christmas Eve. We went to Florida to celebrate. We went to Ft. Christmas, Kennedy Space Center and Clearwater Marine Aquarium. We saw Winter, the dolphin from Dolphin Tale. What an inspirational animal. The last day we spent with Becky, Bryan and Eike came from Miami. We actually saw them for dinner the night before. John, Sonya and kids came from Yulee, Fl. I had not seen John since Emily’s wedding over 5 years ago. It was a good day and a wonderful visit.

But on the way back to the hotel or when we got there, I found a lump on the left side this time. David said it was probably scar tissue. I lost sleep that night. It terrified me, and we were up at 3:15 AM to get to the airport by 4:30. I was definitely looking forward to my 3 month check-up with Dr. Wilson.

Well, I had that today. Of course, she wasn’t going to say there was no need for concern. She said it was impossible to get all the mammary glands last March. But then she said that thought the knot was too high for mammary glands. I’m scheduled for an ultrasound next Wednesday. Depending on what the radiologist decides, I could be getting a biopsy as well. I go back to see Dr. Wilson the 19^th of January

I can do all this again, but the type of biopsy they want to do if it hurts as bad as the one 2 years, that I spoke of earlier. I had to lay on a table with my breast pinned in a mammogram machine for 20-30 minutes while she dug around of the material she didn’t get in the end. I felt everything. Her so-called local didn’t come close.

If they can’t guarantee me  no pain with this biopsy, then they’re gonna put me under!

I’m must so tired of being  poked prodded, pricked and squeezed. IF they could just make it more painless!

David and I have also discussed my attitude change. I just don’t let the outside world get under my skin so much. People that used to bother me with cold thoughtless words just don’t any more!

My hair is coming back pretty well. It’s now silverfish white and gray. It’s hard to think I ma have to go through chemo and lose it again. I’m thinking I need a port if I do. They couldn’t get an IV in for the implant surgery. So I don’t see them doing it again for any more chemo. Listen to me, talking like I expect to have to repeat all that!!

March 31, 2014 

I remember this. It was a very scary time. I was told to keep giving myself the "breast exams", even though I don't have any. I found it while laying in bed. Future blogs will tell you that it was nothing. I still have it in the same place. 

It's true. I don't let a lot of things upset me any more. It's just not worth the time wasted to wonder why some people can be so mean. I'm so thankful that I can do that now. Life is so much easier. 

I will not be posting for at least 3 weeks. I get to go to Germany and see my daughter and her family. I am so excited.  I will continue when I return on the 21st of April. 

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with His healing touch. I know He loves you.