Breast Cancer Bracelets Banned in Pennsylvania?

Scripture of the Day:

Proverbs 3:8 (NLT)

 Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.

 

 

 

October 30, 2013

 

Ban on Breast Cancer Bracelets

 

This is the most disappointing news article that I have read about the any school district. You can read it yourself at the above link. It disappoints me on two levels. I am a retired special education teacher and it is upsetting that the administration cannot find it acceptable to allow young people to support breast cancer in their own way. The bracelets say "Save the Tatas" or "I ♥ Boobies". But if you never seen one of these bracelets the words do not stand out from the pink of the bracelet. You have to really look at it to see what it says. The fact that this school district is spending precious money on lawsuits to have these banned is a particular waste of resources. I am also the breast cancer survivor that these students are supporting. My license plate has a breast cancer ribbon and says at the bottom educate, advocate and eradicate. These students are doing the educating and advocating here. How do you know that one of them won't be the one to grow up and eradicate this disease? My niece gave my husband one of these pink bracelets in 2011 when this started for me. He has NEVER taken off. If this school district feels like they have money to spare, may they can donate it to the eradication of this disease. If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know he loves you.

Share with the your Family and Friends

Scripture of the Day:

Psalm 107:20 (NLT)

He sent out His word and healed them, snatching them from the door of death.

 

March 21, 2011

I thought of so many things I wanted to write in here driving home yesterday. They ALL escape me. I feel closer to Gwyndra (my sister-in-law) than ever. Sad our common issue is cancer. It was her birthday yesterday. When Diane (my mother-in-law) calls David now on the weekend, she wants to talk to me. I’m thinking she wants to hear my voice so she can hear that I’m ok.  I did get some more cross stitch on the Angel of Hope done.  I have done 2 of these already. One was for Gwyndra when she had her cancer back in 1992. The second was for Bryan and his hope to work on Broadway. This one is for me. She’s going to look a little different than the first two. She will have wheat colored dress instead of white like the others.

 

We went to listen to Evan (our son) play at Awful Arthur’s. The food was decent and they were great. Jess and the kids came to. They got to hear their daddy play. He was so nervous. But once he settled down, it was all good.

I called a parent to tell her that her daughter had scored so high on the entrance exam that they predicted that she can have her GED within 30 days. She is currently an 18 year old sophomore. She has missed a lot of class originally due to asthma. And then it became a habit. She knew about my breast cancer. My other students have only been told that I am sick. She then told her mother about me. Her mother told me that I’m on their prayer list at her church. She made me realize…well…you find out who your friends are when the going gets tough. You find out who your friends are…WOW! The supportive family and friends that have been put in my path is awesome. Thank you Lord.

We had a department meeting this afternoon. Rosie said to me, “I can’t wait 'til this is all behind you so you’ll smile again.” I didn’t realize that I had stopped. I guess it does show. Until now the faculty hadn’t been informed. I didn’t realize that Mr. Pohl had put it out that I needed sick days in the email.  When I walked down the hall, everyone that I saw stopped and gave me a hug. I couldn’t figure out why at first….then that so many colleagues cared enough to seek me out and give me hugs.

 

October 30, 2013

I don't know if I've said before, or maybe this is the first time you've read about my cancer, but I was a special education teacher at the high school level when I was diagnosed. I now know of a few teachers that have had breast cancer and didn't share. I would suggest that you not be so afraid to share.  People may not know what to do for you except give you a hug. Those hugs went a long way for me, however. Everyone told me about prayer chains I was added to. I have to say I'm a firm believer in the power of prayer and because I'm sharing with you today is proof. If you don't share, then they won't know to add you to their prayer chains.

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know He loves you.

Standing on the Promises of God This song by Alan Jackson helped me get through. It reminded me to stand on the promises of God and have faith.

Teeny Tots Treasures- I maintain two blogs. You may find this one of interest on a lighter note. The crafting that I do has also kept me sane.

I Had Great Doctors

Scripture of the Day:

Psalm 103: 1-5 (NLT)

Let all that I am praise the Lord; with all my whole heart I will praise His name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things that He does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. He renews my youth like the eagle’s.

 

 

March 19, 2011

Thursday the 17^th was the closest day to normal so far…no doctor’s appointments, no place I have to be. On Friday, Ebony started having puppies. (My friend and I bred cocker spaniels together and Ebony is one of her mother dogs). She ended up with 10 puppies but one didn’t survive. There are 5 females and 4 males. The females are all some form of black. It was the first time I’d been excited about something since before this all started. I told David, but he got upset and apologized for mat being able to do for me what the puppies did. He’s not seeing that the puppies being around are short-lived. He’s here for the duration and being exactly what I need him to be. I asked him if he minded that we get one of the puppies. He said yes. But since I had my heart set on a chocolate or sable, I’m afraid I’m letting emotions make my decisions. I don’t want to do that. Before I knew I had cancer, if one of the puppies had been the right color, she was going to be Lilly’s Second Chance, since I lost Lilly (another puppy) in November.  When I found out I had breast cancer that name took on more significance.  I love that David didn’t argue… that I could choose. He didn’t really want one.

I feel bad because I haven’t kept Becky (my sister) up to date. I talked to her a long time today and felt good spiritually when we hung up about a lot of areas. Most importantly, she helped me to realize that this is not that important a decision that I have to make – implants or reconstruction. The life and death decision has already been made.  I shouldn’t give this one that much weight. So I was telling David what Becky and I talked about and he and I talked about the options.  In some he doesn’t like taking muscle for blood flow for reconstruction. I don’t like them cracking  any of my ribs. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” so to speak. The mastectomy was compared to a diabetic choosing amputation to live. You can’t begin to make the same comparison when creating breasts. On that premise, I ruled out reconstruction. That leaves implants – something foreign in my body. So, silicone or saline. Initially, I was thinking the silicone. The plastic surgeon said the “feel” more natural. David helped me to realize that vanity has not played a part in any decisions I’ve made so far. We talked about what would happen if they burst. We looked at specific silicone breast and saline breasts on Google.(ok I’m a little vane) We couldn’t tell the difference between either one. So if I take vanity out of the equation, then I’ve decided on saline implants. If they burst, at least my body and cells won’t be harmed. What a load off my shoulders. In all this writing, I don’t think I have said but I have to say how strong God is working in my life. He didn’t send me back to the doctor that did my biopsy two years ago. Effective or not, she was not honest about the procedure as I think she should have been. I was angry with her when I left. I suffered through this needle biopsy with useless local. I had to lie there still locked in a mammogram machine for a half hour while they dug around and didn’t get it any of it when we were shown the x-rays at Portsmouth Naval. God has put wonderful people in my path that have been open and honest with me. I feel it in my heart. They’ve been patient. They’ve said “I’m not the doctor to ask” and sent me to the right one. God’s kept me strong for the most part. Obviously, I have had my moments and that won’t end any time soon.  He’s led/guided my thinking all the way.

David thinks it’s a good thing keeping this journal. It could help someone somewhere down the line. If  you are that someone down the line reading this…Get God!!!!

Last night was the first time we’d had sex since before the biopsy. I bawled like a baby. I hate that it’ll become limited again here real soon. I have to remember that I don’t love him for what he can do in bed and vice versa. But I still miss it and feel so guilty because of it. I know that’s crazy.

We took a walk around the property looking at everything that’s growing. Once all the decisions were made, the whole tone changed.

We also looked at pictures of women after mastectomies. I’m glad I did. I don’t think what I’ll look like will be such a shock now. I’m sure that I’ll be asking my self “Oh my God! What have I done!”. But I hope I can answer “the right thing”.

Now – will Emily be coming home?

 

October 28, 2011

Some of this is really open and honest even if it's personal. But I can't imagine anyone reading this who has breast cancer can't relate. Maybe, it will help them hearing it as well. If you haven't read any of the previous posts, Emily is my daughter and in Germany. We were working with Red Cross so that she could come home and be with David during the surgery.

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know He loves you.

I Run For Life - This song by Melissa Etheridge was my anthem then and still is now. Maybe it will lift you up.

 

Teeny Tot's Treasures - I maintain two blogs. You may find this one of interest on a lighter note. The crafting that I do has also kept me sane.

 

Pictorial Journey of a Breast Cancer Patient

Scripture of the Day:

III John 2: 2

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

 

October 28, 2013

 

In place of my journal today, I wanted to share a story that I found on facebook. This is a very sad story in pictures of a young woman who has breast cancer. Her husband is a photographer and he kept a "journal" of her journey in pictures. These are very moving. Just click on the link and it will take you to his site with the pictures The second link will take you to his blog if you want to follow his journey he now travels. If you are thinking about donating and wonder how much it will help, I want to tell you that every time I set in the chair for my chemotherapy treatment, it cost my insurance company $28,000.00. I am so grateful for my insurance. But what if the breast cancer patient doesn't have any insurance? If you are uncomfortable donating at this site, then go to Susan G. Komen and donate there. They also help patients pay for their treatment. If you need this kind of assistance then  use either of them and there are others out there to look into. 



Pictorial Journey of Breast Cancer Patient

 

My Wife's Fight with Breast Cancer.

 

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know He loves you

 

 

Teeny Tots Treasures - I maintain two blogs. You may find this one of interest on a lighter note. The crafting that I do has also kept me sane.

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And the Decisions keep on being requested

Scripture of the Day:

Luke 4:40

Now when the sun was setting, all they had sick with divers diseases  brought them unto him, and he laid his hands on them and healed them.

 

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the light of the White House are shining Pink.

 

 

 

March 16, 2011

Dr. Taylor is the Plastic Surgeon. I left there confused all over again. I can have implants and all the risks that normally go with it. Mentor is the company that Portsmouth Naval Hospital uses. I can choose between silicon and saline. Silicon is more natural in appearance. But if saline breaks, it is safer for my insides.

Or I could have natural reconstruction. They use my body fat to reconstruct. It would be taken from my abdomen. Then blood circulation would come from my rectus abdomi or arteries in my legs or from latissimas dorsi. My COPD could be a problem. I’ll have to tell him about that. This could take as much as a year. It all depends on whether I have radiation or chemotherapy.  Based on current information, they say I’m at stage 1 Breast Cancer.

He said so much stuff that I wrote down. Yet another decision. Our immediate thought was to plan on implants. During the mastectomy they have to place expanders to stretch the skin. We could make a more permanent decision later. This way we still have options. I say we. David is in this every step of the way.

Dr. Wilson is the general surgeon.

Before I say anything else here, I want to add that Emily sent me a beautiful bracelet once she found out. It was from Cancerversary. The following is engraved on the inside of it:

 

What Cancer Cannot Do

It cannot cripple love,

It cannot shatter hope.

It cannot corrode faith.

It cannot eat away peace.

It cannot destroy confidence.

It cannot kill friendship.

It cannot shut out memories

It cannot quench the spirit.

It cannot silence courage.

It cannot reduce eternal life.

There was also a pink ribbon engraved with the words.  What wonderful words of encouragement!

Now Dr. Wilson…she just gave me an exam to see how the lumpectomy was doing and Sonoma gave us instructions for before and after surgery. You know the deal, what you can or cannot eat before surgery and all the things you have to avoid after surgery like not lifting anything over 10  lbs.  Sonoma said that they did update red cross for Emily. We don’t know yet if she will be able to come home.

October 25, 2013

I recall so many decisions that had to be made and always in a short period of time. It's one of the things that bothered me. They were in such a rush to get this tumor out of me. I know, I know. It had to come out as soon as possible. But it was all so overwhelming. But through everything, I have had such wonderful family and friends. I still have the bracelet that my daughter sent to me. The thought was just so beautiful to me.

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know He loves you.

 

Teeny Tots Treasures I maintain two blogs. You may find this one of interest on a lighter note. The crafting that I do has also kept me sane.

 

Reasons supporting Mastectomy

 

 

Scripture of the Day:

Matthew 8: 16

And when evening was come, they brought unto Him many that were possessed devils: and he cast out the spirits with His word; and healed all that were sick.

 

 

 

March 15, 2011

We saw the radiation oncologist. He did take some of the fear out of radiation. My heart is safe and only 5% of my lungs get radiation.

12% reoccurrence with radiation

7% reoccurrence with mastectomy.

Driving home, we were talking about it and it occurred to me that at 58 it would be easier to have the bilateral mastectomy then if it reoccurs 10 years down the road. So that’s my decision.

October 24, 2013

As you can see, we got some stats from the radiologist that helped my decide on the double mastectomy. David felt that even 5% of my lungs was too much. Again, let say that I know those who have done radiation and come out just fine. This is just not I wanted for my body. The reoccurrence odds were considerably better with the mastectomy. And of course realizing that I am still young and will be able to recover from such radicle surgery than I would if radiation worked and 10 years down the road the cancer came back. 58 was how old I was when I was diagnosed. My attitude is to take the aggressive approach to ridding myself of this disease and that hasn't changed even today. If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know He loves you.

 

Teeny Tots Treasures I maintain two blogs. You may find this one of interest on a lighter note. The crafting that I do has also kept me sane.

 

 

Enjoy the Precious Normal Moments

Scripture of the Day:

Matthew 8:7

            And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.

 

 

March 14, 2011

It was almost a normal weekend. David went with me to Myke and Leanne’s to have the dogs groomed. After that, things were normal. It was easy to ignore issues when normal things are happening. One of the eaglets hatched yesterday. I made a dent in the wing of the Angel of Hope. Read some as well. Still can’t get warm. Skyped with Emily. I have two questions for Sanoma…1. How long between surgery and implant surgery and 2. Can we get my daughter home?

October 23, 2013

When I had anything close to normal, it was a precious thing. I read a lot, I love to cross-stitch, we had eaglets being monitored in the Norfolk Botanical Gardens at the time and I watched them daily on the internet. I am a retired special education teacher. As a SPED teacher, I maintained the paperwork and class schedules and such for my caseload. I never imagined that I would end up on someone's case load. That was Sanoma's role in my health care. She was my case manager and I was part of her case load. She helped me manage all of my appointments (and they seemed to be legion) and make sure that all lab work and such was scheduled for me. She helped me to go through Red Cross to get my daughter home from Germany. Emily wanted to come home to be with me and David for the surgery. Now I think I can understand sort of how my students felt. If any of this is part of you journey, let them help you. If you have any questions, ask them.  If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know He loves you.

Teeny Tots Treasures is another blog that you may find interesting.

My Final Decision of Procedure is Made

Scripture of the Day:

Matthew 4:23

And Jesus went about in all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and preaching

the Gospel of the Kingdom and healing all manner of sickness and all manner

of disease among the people 

 

        

March 11, 2013

I think I have decided. I will probably have a double mastectomy. I’ll keep the appointments for information. But, radiation terrifies me. I’ve thought of something my family can do for me. What if I look at my chest and say Oh My God!!! What have I done? They need to keep telling me that I have done the right thing.

In the back of my head it’s still radical. But, someone told me of someone who had it done just because it happened to her mom her sister. Nicole said they want her to because she has the genetic factor.

10-22-2013

I look at my chest every day in the mirror. I don't ask myself, "What have I done?". I know I did the right thing for me. But the scars are still there and all things being equal, I wish they just weren't there at all.  My family too this day tell me that I did the right thing. Having it reinforced that way really helps me. My husband is a nuclear engineer and he didn't like the radiation idea, as I recall, because the angle of the radiation could not avoid hitting my lungs.  I am an ex-smoker and I don't know what kind of damage I have already done to my lungs. He's the reason that I decided against the radiation choice. If you have to make this decision, I know of people that did it but seem no worse for wear. You may want to ask questions and research the side effects that are possible.  If you are traveling my journey, may God bless you with his healing touch. I know he loves you.

 

Your Life is No Longer Your Own But You Are Loved.

Scripture of the Day:

I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord,

because they, called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Jeremiah 30:17

 

March 10, 2011

The following is a letter or email that I sent to my good friend:

Dear friend,

I’m sorry I didn’t look at the phone until this morning.(She had tried to call) They didn’t tell me anything and said it would be 5 to7 days. (after my MRI) I came home depressed and upset. I guess maybe I’ve reached that angry part.(of the grief cycle) I am no longer in control. I had to lay there for 20 minutes with a “fire” alarm sound going off. “Don’t move, don’t cough”, “put your boobs here”. “Be here then and there at this time”. (And the departments can’t coordinate that timeline to everyone’s satisfaction) “Put this on, open if front”. I’ve been poked, prodded, and pushed. “Which arm do you want the IV in?” “Go to this floor, and then go to that floor.” “Oh you work? Oh well, sucks to be you” (They didn’t say that, that’s just the mentality). “You have breast cancer, I’m sorry, so did my mother, aunt, sister, cousin…They did this, that, the other…you should talk to…” The biggy is put this on open if front. Put this on open in front. (That's where the rest of my site name came from)

I hate to miss a day of work to have a pity party for myself. But I’m sooooo tired!

I love you,

Tobie

 

 

…and the leave I’m burning up? I don’t have long term disability benefits. I haven’t gotten the form from the cancer insurance. I guess I can ask for leave day donations. I have about 6 weeks of pay checks in savings. But I wanted to go to Germany this summer. We have CD we can cash, we could sell the Volkswagen!

I thought I was in the sick bank. My pay stub says not. I can still ask for donations form colleagues. I’m so tire. I’m typing this from a page in a handwritten journal. At the top of the page it says 1.6cm tumor. I don’t know if I’ve already typed that in or not.

 The following is the email that I sent to friends and colleagues:

Dear Friends,

I have some information that would like to share with you. It is not good. On Thursday after school, I got the results of the biopsy that was taken on my breast last Friday. I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I don’t have a lot of information yet. David and I spent this weekend in Stony Creek. It was a powerful weekend for us in personal growth and spirituality. So that being said, let me introduce you to myself, I am Tobie Davis, the next survivor of Breast Cancer. That is my mantra. I say it every time I think about what’s happening to me.

Thanks

Love,

Tobie

 

I got this email from Brian and Linda. It says:

Dear Tobie Davis, the next survivor of Breast Cancer!

It goes to God every time you say it…. We will say it with you!!!! God is good….is with you every second of the day! You have the personality to beat this. I have heard that attitude is so important (and you have attitude ☺)!!!

Can we add you to our church prayer chain? Call or write if you need anything…prayer, food, and ear?

Much love,

Linda and Brian.

Putting this down here, I remember how hard it all was. But people were so amazing. I didn't know how blessed I was. I will probably say this again, because the blessing just kept coming. That is exactly how I started any conversation to let someone know that I had breast cancer. I started by saying that I was the next breast cancer survivor. My name went on lots of prayer lists and I believe that is part of my continued health and being cancer free. I also believe that the woman we prayed for last week will also be blessed. I can feel it in my soul, that she is.

Enjoy your day.

 

 

 

 

 

Letter to My Daughter

 

 

Scripture of the Day:

Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me, and I will be saved.

Jeremiah 17:14

           

 

 

 

 

March 9, 2011

This is a letter that I wrote to Emily in Germany at this time.

Dear Emily,

They caught it pretty early they think. I’m having an MRI tonight to verify that. His analogy for what he removed from me was a golf ball. The skin of the golf ball is undamaged but the interior had defects. For them, the defects come too close to the outer skin for comfort – less than 1mm. So he gave me 3 choices:

1.     6 weeks of daily radiation – not chemotherapy

2.     Another lumpectomy to take out more to be sure and 6 weeks of daily radiation therapy

3.     Mastectomy and no radiation or chemo

Surgery for Sentinel Node Biopsy (will happen) they put a dye in and find the first lymph node it reaches and remove it and biopsy to find out if cancer has passed into my lymph node system. I am going to survive this. The problem now as I see it is making the decision. Part of me just wants to have the mastectomy and just be done!!! Part of me wants to save the breast, but radiation therapy scares me to death.

Before I decide, I’m to meet with the oncologist radiologist to discuss radiation and risks and side effects and a plastic surgeon to be told how reconstruction will take place. That way I can make an informed decision.

They have scheduled the Sentinel Node for March 28^th. They have allowed enough time for the mastectomy should that be what I decide. I have already told them that if that’s what’s going to happen, they are taking both. I am only going under the knife for this ONCE!! I talked to Butch’s sister, Tina that had the exact same thing. She only h ad one and she said she is terrified once a year when they mammogram the one she still has.

Last night I felt like the mastectomy was the way. Everyone (family) I talked to seemed to agree. I even joked that I was giving up my breasts for lent. Talking to David and Susan sort of changed my perspective in that the mastectomy would be like someone choosing an amputation because they have diabetes. It is very much the same thing…choosing life by amputation. But Tina says that every single day for the last 10 years she things about it when she takes off her shirt. But then, I don’t think one or the other will make that kind of difference on me. It will never leave my mind no matter what I choose. (And it hasn't in the 2 1/2 years since I wrote this.) I think what I’m feeling really sad and down about this morning is that what I’ll be thinking about every time that I change clothes or go to a doctor. I now have a legacy (for lack of a better word) that I don’t want. I guess I just have to suck that one up. Chuck said that God wild help me make the decision. This morning, I’m asking myself how will I hear His answer. The only think I can positively say is that I don’t want radiation and what does that leave me with? But maybe my perspective on radiation is flawed too, like it was on a mastectomy.

After the appt. with all the other doctors, I have an appt. the 16^th with my surgeon to decide what I’m doing. So I basically have a week to decide. I guess I’m still leaning toward the mastectomy. It still seems the only way to be just done with it. He did say that it is impossible to completely remove all breast cells...and those left could become cancerous too. At the very minimum, he wants to do choice #2 to be sure they got it all. I’ll let you know what the MRI says as soon as I know. I’m sure I won’t know anything tonight, probably in the next day or two.

There is some relief in that they did catch it early. It’s the decision that is weighing heavy. Let me know what you think. I love you,

Mom

I am getting tire of going to doctor’s offices so often and getting into hospital gowns. The decision is weighing me down because I have to live with my decision for the rest of my life.

 

I had the MRI. It was 20 minutes of don’t move, don’t cough with a “fire” alarm going the whole time. She said 5 to 7 days for results.

I have lost control. I have people telling me “be here then”, “wear this (gown) and open if front”, “take off your jewelry”, “sit here”, “lay there”, “which arm for your IV?

October 18, 2013
I remember this being a tough time for me. It seemed like everyone wanted a decision yesterday. During all of this I'm still going to work and trying to act normal. I just always seemed so exhausted with everything. But all those appointments were important in making good sound decisions about what I was going to allow them to do to my body. I needed the education they gave me about breast cancer.

Enjoy your day.

 

 

 

Say a Little Prayer for Her

Scripture of the Day:

Isaiah 58: 8

Then shall thy light break forth as the morning and thy health shall spring for the speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee, and the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward (Rearguard)

 

I am going to skip the journal entry today because I don't want to overload today's post. I wanted to share a story about yesterday. I have found another lump in my breast as I mentioned earlier. I had an ultrasound yesterday to make sure that it was not cancerous as my breast surgeon and oncologist thought. While I was waiting for my turn for my ultrasound a woman was called in to have a biopsy done. Oh how, that brought back memories. She had her arms crossed around her breasts as she got up and she was so close to crying. I, right then and there, said a prayer for it to come out ok for her. If anyone reading this would stop for just a minute and say a quick prayer for her, I know it will be alright. I believe in the power of prayer and know that it helped me in too many ways to count. I don't know her name, I won't describe her, except the woman who got her biopsy and Portsmouth Naval Hospital yesterday afternoon. Send her your prayers.

 

For me, it turned out to be a bubble of some kind in my implant and nothing to worry about.

 

You will find that I am a big fan of flash mobs. Enjoy this one:

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

Keep notes of Questons that you may want to ask someone

Scripture of the Day

My son, forget not my law, but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life and peace shall they add to the. Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck, write them on the table of thine heart. So shalt thou find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all thin heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:1-8

 

Not all the readings will be earth shattering or great reading. But, they are a part of my journal I am compelled to put them here anyway. If you're on this journey, and have questions, please leave a comment. Let me throw in this disclaimer... I am know expert on anything but me. But I'm happy to share any aspect of what happened to me to help anyone. This is not a journey that anyone should travel alone. I am so fortunate for my family and friends that are getting me through this.

 

 

March 8, 2011

I took some notes of things I wanted to remember and then lost the note. The things I remember are:

·        Am I now paying for my sins? I know that I am not, but it did cross my mind.

·        I don’t want to become self-centered

·        Alan Jackson sings “Standing on the Promises of God”. That’s what I want to do.

I got this email from Candy  ASAP – Always Say a Prayer. Then it said “God, Our Father, walk through my house and take away all my worries and illnesses and please watch over and heal my family in Jesus name, Amen.

Frank (friend) gave me some resources to read.

Dr. Royal Raymond Rife, Dr. Lorraine Day, Hoxey Cancer Cur, Tetrahadron.com. and I should drink Essiac tea. I just don’t like tea.

I got so many emails that were so soothing and helpful. I will be forever grateful.

(Anything in bold is written on the day of the post)

 

Scripture of the Day:

Psalm 30:2

 O Lord my God, I cried unto Thee and Thou has healed me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 6, 2011

It hasn’t been that hard coming back to school today, except when Bailie saw me and she started crying.

Nicole tells me that because of me, she’s scheduled her mammogram and MRI. She has that genetic factor for breast cancer. She said her oncologist never got results from the doctor (the same doctor I had two years ago). This doctor told her if she didn’t want to worry just have the breast removed! So I called my Gyn. office and told them I was bringing copies of my records so far from Portsmouth Naval an asked for copies work she sent to them. They said they’d have it ready. I’m curious what will be there.

Chuck (my brother-in-law) sent me some scriptures. I’ve asked myself am I that strong or am I in denial? I’m already weak. The question should be “am I strong enough in my faith.” Psalms 103:1-5 moved me the most, spoke the loudest to me. But am healed and I have to acknowledge who healed me. But especially Psalms 103 vs. 5. He renews my youth like the eagles. I’ve been saying I could come out of this in better shape than I have been in a while.

·        Practitioners act as though disease catches people rather than by the understanding that people catch diseases by becoming susceptible to seeds of illness to which we are all exposed

What “seed” am I susceptible to? I’m thinking that’s not necessarily true. I know we make choices that lead to certain things. But I can’t help but think that this was God’s idea. I feel confident I’ll survive and I’ve always said if it must happen let it be me. I’ll gladly take this burden so my husband, children, mother and family don’t have to. So I’m ready. (Warm, fuzzy feeling – stupid grin)

At some point every day, I’ve said “I have breast cancer”. (That has not changed in the 2 1/2 years since I wrote this). Dr. Siegel says I should stop that. Act and live like I don’t have cancer. He also stated miracle healings are not acts of God. I disagree. They can be and are.

I got an email from Linda M. it says:

Dear Tobie, the next survivor of Breast Cancer!

It goes to God every time you say it…We will say it with you!!!! God is good…is with you every second of the day! You have the personality to beat this. I have heard that attitude is so important (and you have attitude ☺)!!!

Can we add you to our church prayer chain? Call or write if you need anything...prayer, food, an ear…

Of course I told her yes put me on their prayer chain. This was such an uplifting email.