Scripture of the Day:
Malachi 4:2
This is a hard topic to address. If it were my parent, daughter, aunt, sister...I'd definately want to butt in and give my opinion and be determined to help them make the "right" decision. But I know I can't. It's their decision and no one elses.
My family did not have the issues that some families have with the decisions of the breast cancer patient. I've said this repeatedly...I went after this very aggressively. I did ask my children how they felt as I was going through this. One of them said that they took their attitude from the one I was showing. Yes they were upset, but since I wasn't falling apart (in public), they wouldn't either.
But not all breast cancer patients are that decisive and aggressive. I've talked to family members who are very scared for the decisions their loved one is making.
I found the following question and the answers that were given when asked. I have posted the answer to the question from the Expert. The link to this article is at the bottom of the page and if you go to it, you will find opinions from family members, etc. all over the spectrum.
I know it's hard for some of you when going through this. This time more than ever is a time to be honest with each other. Maybe your loved one has a perfectly good reason for her/his decisions. Maybe they can't see what you are feeling. This is definately an individual's decision even though it effects the whole family.
Is refusing cancer treatment a selfish act?
Expert Answers
Kenneth Robbins, M.D., is a senior medical editor of Caring.com. He is board certified in psychiatry and internal medicine, has a master's in public health from the University of Michigan, and is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. His current clinical practice focuses primarily on geriatrics. He has written and contributed to many articles and is frequently invited to speak on psychiatric topics, such as psychiatry and the law, depression, anxiety, dementia, and suicide risk and prevention.
A decision about whether to accept treatment for cancer is a personal matter, and there is no right or wrong. One must start by carefully weighing the potential risks of the treatment and the potential benefits of the treatment. The person with cancer must ultimately decide which choice is in their overall best interest. "Selfish" has a negative connotation, as though the person with cancer is inappropriately thinking of himself or herself instead of others. In this case one must think of oneself, because it is ultimately the person with cancer who will have to deal with the consequences. One of the factors to consider, however, in addition to the risks and benefits of the potential treatment, is the effect either decision will have on family members and close friends.
If you are the person with cancer and you are seriously considering a choice to refuse treatment, I would encourage you to speak with the people closest to you about it. It is possible they will feel hurt, believing you are choosing to die rather than to spend time with them. It would likely be very helpful to them if they understood how and why you made your decision, or what it is you are wrestling with. It is even possible such a discussion will give you a new perspective that leads you to change your mind. This is a situation where a mental health professional may be invaluable. Such a person could help facilitate a discussion between you and the people you are concerned about, and help you each to understand what the other is experiencing. Hopefully this will lead to you supporting each other through this very challenging time.
Please take a look at my Prayer page and these people to your prayer list. I believe in the power of prayer and these people could use it.
If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with His healing touch. I know He loves. You
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