Music that Sooths Me

Scripture of the Day:

Jeremiah 17:14 

 Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me, and I will be saved.

February 17, 2011

I’m getting close to the one year anniversayry of the biopsy. It took place on February 28^th at Portsmouth Naval Hospital. It feels in some ways like it’s been a long year. In other ways, I don’t know where this year has gone.

My preferred music has changed. I listen to a lot of Christian music. “ A Mother’s Prayer” by Rachel Aldous is a song as much because of Emily’s baby coming in September. It always makes me cry. I adjust the prayer to cover so many of my loved ones when I hear it…even myself. What a beautiful song!

Another song that brings tears is “Anyway” by Martina McBride. This is so inspirational to …”do it anyway”

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Then there’s Jesus Take the Wheel. This song about a dirver. But why not ask Jesus to take my “wheel of life”?

There are the songs that talk to me about my love for David and his for me. “Devoted to You” by the Everly Brothers was sung at our wedding 30 years ago and again when we redid our vows in June. “Your Love Amazed Me” by John Berry is another one. David’s love truly does amaze me. He is as much a survivor as I am. He told me on Valentine’s Day that I was an answer to a prayer. He’s been with me through this all as I’ve said endlessly. And he still is taking good care of me.

Another is  “Too Me” by Lee Greenwood and Barbara Mandrell. This is also a tear jerker for me. This song is about what the loved one is “to me”…and David is. It’s like they wrote the song about us.

I hate my new “normal”. I get so frustrated with it. The side effects of leterzole is bond, muscle and joint ache; dizziness; and exhaustion. I have all of those and sometimes, I just would describe it as extreme.

I don’t know if it’s a side effect or not, but I also can become very winded climbing the stairs. I refuse to take the elevator. But at the top of the stairs, I have to stop a minute or should stop a minute to get my breath back.

I have also started what I call mini-anxiety attacks. I get the OMG feelings and my heart stand still. These last long enough for me to take notice. Then, I’ll start breathing slowly and they go away.

One side effect that seems to have disappeared is the hot flashes. I still get them but not very often.

The numbers of people that need prayer just keep getting larger. I prayed hard for the sister of a classmate who was having open heart surgery due to complications from lupus. She did not survive. I was kind of amazed at how much it upset me. The only thing that comes to mind is that “There but by the Grace of God”. It could’ve been me and still could down the road.

But I prayed for a friend that had an ultrasound for lumps in her breast. Her ultrasound came out fine. They were deemed to be cysts. She has recently quit smoking, too.

Since my tumor is gone, do I have breast cancer or is it “I had breast cancer”. I’m still confused about so many things as I reach the end of my first year as a survivor.

Anyway By Martina McBride It's a great song if you're feeling low.

May 14, 2014

Wow. the first part of what I wrote is rather mushy. Just lets you know what my frame of mind was. I still tend to listen to the same music. It gives me inspiration and peace. It settles me sometimes. I have to mention one more song. It's "I Run For Life" by Melissa Etheridge. She is a breast cancer survivor and this is her song about her journey. 

My new "normal" has become normal without quotations. That is a good thing. I still have the side effects of my medication and I still have to take it for 3 more years. I'm told that the side effects will go away within one month of not taking it. I can't wait. That time is getting closer. I know longer have the anxiety attacks I was having back when I started the meds. 

But the number of people that need prayer just keeps increasing. It's hard to keep up. I've gotten to where I do a blanket prayer, because I know that God knows my heart and knows those people that I think about that need prayer. I have to trust that he's hearing all of those names even if I'm not saying them. I found out yesterday that the sister of a friend that had breast cancer now has stomach cancer. So I've added another name to my list.

If you are making this journey as I am, may God bless you with His healing touch. I know He loves you.